Anita’s Blog

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    The Decluttering Journey

    Where can you reduce clutter in your life?

    It’s the beginning of 2026 and I’m considering the purchase of a bookcase or a storage shelf. It feels almost counter-productive, talking about such a purchase when I’m meant to be sharing where else I can reduce clutter. Doesn’t a bookcase or a shelf of sorts mean holding on to things?

    I started my journey to declutter some time in 2017. I found out that I had the same autoimmune condition as my mum. One of the biggest impacts it had on me was chronic fatigue.

    I’ve never been one for dusting and cleaning the house. It triggers allergies that end up in lung infections. This has been the case since I was a child and so I have a dislike for the tasks, while I view them as necessary. I far prefer cooking and baking and washing things up. That has always been fine with me.

    One of the things I immediately thought about when I started processing my diagnosis is this precise dislike I have of cleaning alongside the incredible amount of stuff we had. So I spoke to my dad about my plans to start simplifying things.

    These plans included pulling down built-in cabinets and wardrobes, as well as some massive built in bookshelves. My dad was a bit surprised but acknowledged that I was going to be even more reliant on cleaning help, which could sometimes be unreliable. Papa came around and I sprang into action.

    I was quite ruthless, when I think about it. I gave away a few thousand books. The only ones I held on to were ones that I found hard to track down online. It was very painful giving away a beautiful edition of C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia which had gold page ends and beautiful pictures. I remembered picking it up on holiday in Switzerland.

    Such was my determination. All my CDs and DVDs went. I wasn’t to know that we’d be arriving at a point when they were obsolete. So it was giant decisions made to let go. Pyrex collections, luggage and bedding sets, countless Christmas decorations of various colour combinations, and decorative items from crystals to brass, were all discarded. That was a very painful round of discarding that happened.

    I put some stuff away in bags. One of the rooms upstairs was pretty full up with stuff that I couldn’t decide on.

    Then I also made the decision to change my kitchen cabinets. My parents had made kitchen cabinets that lined the walls of our kitchen, which meant ample space for collecting stuff. I gave away some gourmet dining sets that I had, which were so stunningly beautiful. That was hard.

    Even more painful was the decision to give away a lot of my baking stuff. I used to do heaps of baking for weddings and all sorts – as gifts to my friends. I had almost a couple of hundred baking tins of different shapes and sizes, cake stands, about 3 cake mixers and a hand mixer, hundreds of cookie cutters- most of which I bought on travels, sets of nozzles for icing, and the list goes on. This was very difficult. It was partly an acknowledgment that as a result of my health, I was no longer going to be doing the same scale of baking I used to. It was hard.

    The amount of things I’ve given away sometimes shocks me and catches me off guard. I’ll suddenly realise I no longer have such and such a thing. But it has forced me to question whether is something I need or if I can improvise on.

    My home is so clutter free now- and that final room upstairs just has a last few bits and bobs that I am now planning to organise or give away.

    This brings me back to the bookcase or storage shelves that I’m considering. I want to take what I have put away in boxes and organise them so that they can be used. At present, I have to hunt through piles of stuff to get to what I need. The plan is to do another round of sifting once I get the shelves in. This will have to be quite a ruthless round. I have held on to some things which I value, but which, if I’m honest, aren’t of any use to me whatsoever.

    I’m bracing myself for this. I’ve started looking out for shelves. The process has begun.

    I recommend decluttering because it clears up space. I have a home that’s really lovely because there’s simply no clutter. I no longer am stressed about keeping things neat and tidy because it’s all rather manageable. It makes such a difference.

    I’m very keen to keep this process of decluttering alive. It’s made me look at what’s important and practical. It’s made me thoughtful about buying. I’ve learnt to admire, appreciate, and move on. I’ve also learnt to make good purchases. The process has also helped me maintain my home, even with a progressive illness, it’s not totally unmanageable.

    It’s also been a process for which I’ve been able to thank God for. It has stirred up heaps of memories for me – about how it used to be at home, when both papa and mummy were still around. I have much to be thankful for.

    I may have got rid of stuff, but my home is as ever, open to family and friends.

    To anyone who’s embarking on this journey of decluttering, I wish you lots of peace and joy as you do it. You’re not just dealing with stuff. You’re simplifying and appreciating life.

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    Gamora’s Mind

    It’s no secret that I love little Gamora to bits. She’s the half-pug-half-dachshund bundle of joy that goes speeding about trying to deliver kisses to people and patrol the garden. She’s not very big, but has the propensity to become very fat! This is because I spayed her early – well, partly this. Mostly, it’s because she can eat and eat and eat and keeps looking for food all over the place.

    In December, for her third birthday, I had a Birthday & Santa-Paws Pawty. I wanted to celebrate her birthday and host the family for an early Christmas party to kick off the season. Gamora had a ball. Friends and family came to spend time with us and our home was so full of laughter and chatter. It was beautiful.

    One of Gamora’s gifts was a bag of dental chews. Gamora has got some allergies so I tend not to give her anything bought, but I let my guard down and gave her some of these dental chews. I didn’t think too much of it and gave her a couple for about 3-4 days.

    I then started noticing that she was struggling. All sorts of bits were coming out of her and she also started throwing up. We rushed to the vet, where they told us that the dental chews had most likely caused some kind of obstruction.

    They stopped her from throwing up, but for an entire week, I watched her nature’s calls. If they weren’t happening, I was meant to rush her back to the vet. Thankfully, things kept going in the right trajectory and her very swollen and painful belly was no longer bloated and sore.

    The vet has said she’s out of danger, but we’ve to monitor her for a bit where her food is concerned to make sure her digestive tract is fully healed. So her kibble is soaked and she gets some porridge at points. She loves it. My greedy little pup just licks her bowl of food till it’s all shiny and glossy.

    She wonders why she doesn’t even get homemade treats at the moment and is constantly waiting every time I open the fridge. I wish I could make her understand that I have to go slow with her until her digestive tract has fully recovered and that I’m doing this because I adore her and want her to grow old with me. I’ll do everything that I must to care for this little one.

    It’s wonderful now watching her back to her usual self as her belly’s not hurting anymore. A new delivery guy is absolutely besotted with her and asked if he could give her a treat. I’ve explained that she can’t have any – and he very sweetly has taken to throwing her ball into the garden for her to run after. Friends and family come by to visit and she wonders why no one’s letting her lick their fingers after a meal. It’s all part of making sure she gets better. She enjoys the time with them, but I want her to know that we love her and that’s the only reason it’s not business as usual.

    She’s a sweet pup! She has a curious nature and is extremely expressive. I want her to know that I’ll always do what’s best for her.

    Are we there yet?
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    A Relaxed Trip

    Think back on your most memorable road trip.

    I’ve taken lots of road trips and most have been amazing, save one or two. It’s a little impossible for me to say which has been the most memorable because they’ve all been special and people I love.

    The most recent road trip was in October 2024 with a good friend. We were headed to the island city of Penang from Kuala Lumpur. It wasn’t a complicated trip and we were both tired from hectic schedules.

    We planned to leave the city really early in the morning and we stuck to it. It was still dark! The drive was smooth as we’d managed to bypass the workday traffic.

    We had planned to stop for breakfast in an idyllic town called Ipoh. It was simply lovely enjoying a kopitiam-styled breakfast! Yummy. The lines to the restaurant were testament to its reviews for being a wonderful place for local delights.

    After we ate, we decided to look for one of the shops where we could get local treats. What trip would be complete without snacks on hand. We hopped back into our car, armed with the GPS and without too much difficulty, located the shop. Parking was anywhere by the road, which felt like we’d been transported back in time.

    The shop was simply brilliant! Nothing too fancy, but with lots of treats and more of those long lines that made us realise that they were a good gauge of whether a place is good or not. We overbought!

    Once we were armed with goodies, we decided to head off to Penang. We did get lost a little, which wasn’t too bad because we got to see some really old-styled houses. The change of pace was made apparent.

    On our way to Penang, we could see black rain clouds forming. For a bit it felt like we were trying to outrun them. But they did catch up with us at various points.

    At our final destination, it was sheer bliss looking out at the sea from our room and spending time by the pool – and simply relaxing. Everything was just lovely.

    I’m writing about it because we stayed true to our plans to relax. This isn’t always easy when we go on a break – and I’m thankful that my friend and I did this. I felt so very rejuvenated after our trip!

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    More Ways Than One

    In what ways do you communicate online?

    I have very clear memories of writing letters to my best friend. She is from the UK and I’m from Malaysia. After I returned home from university, we kept up our conversations through letters. Letters were also the way my parents and I communicated with each other while I was a student in the UK. I have a lot of great memories over letters – I remember the excitement and anticipation.

    Today, I think we’re so incredibly blessed to have so many forms of communication online. The waiting is gone. It’s not like I have to wait for two weeks before I can get news or have my news communicated. I love it when I see emails or WhatsApp messages from friends or some more exciting work related ones. I feel like these ways of communicating are so helpful in bringing us closer, when used properly.

    Right now, I’m trying to communicate better over LinkedIn. This is because I’m trying to grow my consultancy – Progressive Pathways Consulting. There are so many things I’m learning about communication there. It’s not my most natural platform. So the learning curve is steep.

    I’m also trying to grow my podcast channel on YouTube, called Pathways to Thriving. This has been an exciting way to communicate with the world. I get to highlight stories of others who may not always get heard. I’m hoping this grows.

    I hope to get better at online communication simply because it means getting better as a communicator and connecting with more people. This is important for all of us as individuals. Connection matters!

    Some of the people I’ve interviewed on my podcast.

    If you’re interested in checking out my podcast, please visit:

    https://youtube.com/@progressivepathwaysconsulting?si=3qdSUkLOuE5aNPWG

    I’d love your support – so please like and subscribe!

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    A Dog Called Gamora

    Daily writing prompt
    What is your favorite animal?
    View all responses

    I love dogs! I didn’t always have dogs but around 2010, I got my first dog whose name was Patches. Patches was a rescue we got around the time he was four. He was gorgeous. He had a white coat with black spots that seemed to fade at points. He had such a lovely personality and I nicknamed him The Turkey Thief because one Christmas he stole a turkey and ate it!

    My second dog was Loki. Loki didn’t live very long. I had to put him down when he was three. I had Loki from the time he was eighteen days old. His, was such a tragic story. All he knew from the moment he was born was pain and agony. Loki didn’t do well with people as a result of such deep rooted trauma. His eating and drinking capabilities were also significantly reduced. It was a hard decision, but the right one. He did have lots of love in his short three years.

    My present dog is Gamora. Gamora is half-pug-half-dachshund. Initially, after Loki died, I thought I wouldn’t take another pup. But a breeder was in desperate need to find homes for the pups after a pug (Gamy-girl’s dad) and a dachshund (Gamy-girl’s mum) fell in love and had a litter. Gamora chose me. She’s the first female dog I’ve had and she’s a beauty. I named her Gamora because of how she out-muscled her brother and made me pick her.

    Gamora’s an absolute sweetheart. She’s very different from Patches and Loki. Apart from being much smaller than the both of them, she’s also by far more intelligent. She seems to have problem-solving skills – especially when she sets her sights on something. She’s also incredibly brave in comparison to both Patches and Loki, which is hilarious. The hunter personality from her dachshund DNA is strong and she takes her duties patrolling my garden very seriously.

    I loved Patches and Loki with all my heart. In fact, I still love them. When I think of them, they make me smile. But there’s something about Gamora that has totally captivated me. I don’t know if this makes me bad and if I’m playing favourites here, but this little girl has simply got me. She’s got the most curious little way of worming her way to you. She does a sploot and then starts crawling towards you to give you the biggest, warmest licks of love. It’s her love attack position. She does get you. There’s no winning.

    She’s also incredibly matter-of-fact about what she wants. There’s no two ways. It’s either Gamora’s way or the highway! Every night when we go to bed, the same thing happens. She decides that she wants to sleep in the exact spot that I’m sleeping in. It doesn’t matter if she chooses first – but once we’re settled, she very confidently marches over and creates a space for herself. Even in the dark, you can feel her working it out. She makes you cooperate!

    Gamora loves people. She has a few favourite people who are often in our home. Some babysit her regularly and she shows them special greetings when they arrive. In the mornings, some of our neighbours have to stop by at our gate to greet her and have a moment with her. It’s poignant. I don’t need to be around – it’s their thing with her. Gamora makes her disappointment know if anyone of these gets into their car and drives off without greeting her. It doesn’t matter if they’re rushing off. She expects to be paid homage!

    Gamora also has favourites among delivery people. I dislike going shopping, and I try to reduce my having to go to physical shops by buying stuff online. Gamora has her special routines with some of the more frequent delivery folk. They tell me they love her and that it makes them happy knowing they’re coming to our home. One even told me that he knows our home address because of her! What’s amusing is that they actually take a moment to greet her and engage with her. She loves it.

    If there is one thing that motivates Gamora, it is food. Unfortunately for her, both pugs and dachshunds are prone to weight gain. It shows! It doesn’t help that Gamora is allergic to grass and has to be on some allergy meds, which seem to add to her weight dilemma. She doesn’t appreciate not being given my food, even thought she has just eaten hers. The look of heartbreak she manages to give, as if she’s been starved and abandoned her whole live and never has seen a day of kindness, is simply unmistakable. She’s got chops!

    The most difficult thing for me when it comes to managing Gamora is not having my dad around. When it came to Patches and Loki, my dad’s presence always helped. There are times when I need to be out for work. Patches and Loki always had my dad to fall back on to. Gamora only had my dad for about five and a half months. Saying this, her memory is remarkable. There are moments when she demonstrates her sorrow at his passing. Once the son of a friend who was visiting, a toddler, grabbed my dad’s walking stick from a corner it was in. It surprised me for a moment to see my dad’s walking stick and at the same time, Gamora became very quiet. I thought it was because she wanted to hide from the child. However, the friend left very shortly after that and when I got back inside, I couldn’t locate Gamora. I finally found her curled up next to my dad’s walking stick, looking at it with her sad puppy-dog eyes. It made me cry. This little girl is intuitive.

    I love this little girl and I love this time of my life where I’m working for myself and get to spend time with her. I wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s been such a special little gift to me from God and I am so thankful to him for her.

    Gamora draws people into her little galaxy. She’s full of love, cheer, and mischief. Love you loads, little Gamora!

    Patches and me
    Loki and me
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    Twenty Years of Grief, an Easy Yoke and a Light Burden

    There’s a strange peace that resides in my heart as I contemplate the twenty years that have passed since I lost my mum. For eighteen of them, I had my dad right by me as a stalwart. Now I miss him alongside missing her, though her passing is further away than his, and his absence is the one that’s catching me off-guard. I’ve had twenty years to get used to mum’s absence.

    As I feel a sense of grief over what I’ve lost with my mum, and now, my dad too, the biggest realization that dawns on me is that I am grieving the loss of something good. This is poignant. Not everyone has this grace. There may be grief, but it could be wrapped in guilt, for instance. I am so grateful to God that I don’t have that pain.

    I’m terribly aware too of how the loss of my mum impacted my life. It was all such a shock. I think that’s the bit that really takes me back.

    One minute I was getting ready to head out for a movie with a friend and the next I was calling to cancel not because too much was wrong but that mum was feeling a little unwell and we wanted to get her to hospital.

    Even in hospital, there was nothing to worry about. Not until they did a CT scan. Then we were told she had about six hours to live.

    My mum lasted more than those six hours, but not much more. It was excruciating waiting around and when she drew her last breath, it was surreal.

    The whole thing happened so suddenly. I think I never saw it coming. It also makes me so appreciative of my father’s attempts to remove shock from his passing, as he tried to talk to me about it some years before he died.

    This loss made it necessary for me to make a career pivot. In a work related blog, I wrote that these days career transitions are trendy.

    When I lost my mum, I was living out my ambition of being a court-going lawyer, which I’d held since I was six years old. I loved my work. I still love that time I had in the practice. I speak of it with enthusiasm and fondness.

    However, love for my work alone wasn’t enough. Grief took over. I needed an out. My dad stood by me.

    Papa even pulled people off my back. So many felt it in their place to tell me to get a grip, that I was wasting the education my parents put me through, etcetera. It made me retreat from so many people. I was exhausted by them.

    Over the years, I have at points had comments about how I never went on to pursue the law properly. How I’d held so much promise but … that sentence almost always ends with a shaking of the head.

    I’m thankful to Jesus for the reminder of how his yoke is easy and his burden is light (Matthew 11: 28-30).

    Jesus’ call to rest and talk about the ease of his yoke and lightness of his burden comes at the end of a fraught chapter. Disciples of John the Baptist come to find out if he’s the one they’ve been waiting for. Then he launches into a validation of John the Baptist and ends by denouncing unrepentant cities.

    We rightly understand this to be his rejection of religious burdens placed on people. Do such and such to be saved or gain blessing. Submission to Jesus isn’t a religious ritual.

    Submission happens in our hearts and then gets lived out in our lives.

    There are huge takeaways from this – not just in terms of how I submit to God. My submission is constantly something I’m needing to work at.

    In the beginning, after losing my mum, I worried about how I wasn’t able to build that huge corporate future. I worried about the lack of respect I received after leaving legal practice.

    It took me a long time to understand that it was ultimately my identity in Christ that mattered and not the respect of the world. It helped me change perspective and reframe things.

    Reframing is amazing. I saw that I needed to make changes and I did. These pivots take into account my broken heart.

    In the last two years, my heart broke again – with the loss of my dad. I’m needing to make pivots as a result of that. But my lesson in transitions started twenty years ago through the loss of my mother and the support of my father.

    I don’t thank God enough. I want to thank him as I end this. I thank him so much for my mum and I remember her so clearly and so deeply and I love and miss her so. I thank God for my dad. It’s still raw with his recent passing and I’m still needing to make adjustments but I’m grateful for having had him for as long as I did. I love and miss him too.

    I’m thanking God for this grief over the last twenty years, for the journey it has brought me on and for the pivots I’ve had to make. I thank him for the people who came into my life as a result of the different paths I ended up taking. I thank him too for the experiences I’ve had as a result of change.

    I’d love it if my home (me, papa, and mummy) was still the same. Even writing that sentence brings tears to my eyes. It’s not possible for things to go back.

    Twenty years is a long time to be without someone you love. For eighteen of them I had my father. So weird to be without either now. But I trust in God’s promise for the future.

    A wonderful day out
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    It Would Still Be Christmas…

    Christmas Day (2025) is just days away. We’re at the 21st of December and you can just tell by the frenzy going on at the malls, in people’s homes, and offices, that folk are busy prepping for parties or to go away or to take some time off at the end of the year. It’s hard not to get a feel of the seasonal rush.

    I love Christmas trees, lights, and the festivities. For me, a lot of this feels a bit lost without my parents. This year, I forced myself to put up the Christmas tree for the first time since losing my dad. There was a real gut-wrenching moment when the new skirting I’d ordered arrived. A friend was around and immediately started helping me. But a sensation from within hit me so hard. Usually it was papa who helped me with the tree. Having the reality of his absence hammered in that way didn’t help. 

    I miss my mum a lot too. I remember her words and expressions whenever I made fruitcake. The whole cake making process this year, with the shutting down of a bakery supply store, made me reflect back on how she and my dad supported me as I grew in my baking journey. Another reality of their absence that was simply not needed. 

    I’ve been talking with a few friends. Everyone’s going through different things – from carer duties, work layoffs, health scares, and bereavement. Everyone’s talking about how it simply doesn’t feel like Christmas because they can’t do the usual things. I recognised my own sentiments being echoed there, and hearing them played back, as it were, gave me a momentary pause to reflect. 

    Is it not Christmas because I can’t have late night conversations with my mum and dad as we eat mince pies and sip drinks? Is it not Christmas when we can’t put up the tree? Is it not Christmas when the shiny decorations and fabulous sales don’t stir our hearts? Is it not Christmas because of someone near and dear to us passing away? 

    Even on a broader scale, the same questions come up. Is it not Christmas if your country or region is at war? Is it not Christmas if there has been a tragic attack or senseless killings? Is it not Christmas if there is government instability or if we’re governed by leaders we dislike? 

    Things are a little rough at home right now. It’s already hard enough trying to manage this season without my folks, but Gamora has ingested something and it’s doing a number on my little girl. It’s a bit of observation mode right now. There is rejoicing when she does her business – I think this is surprising her a lot. 

    She’s got moments when she seems alright and at times her belly is so swollen, it’s worrying. I’m feeling stress too. Literally after walking out of the vet, I was so overcome by the potential dangers facing this little one, I threw up. I don’t want to think about it. Yet, this is a good time to ask – isn’t it still Christmas?

    It is still Christmastime. The festivities of Christmas and the countdown to the end of year have such a lot of potential in the secular world. Everybody’s doing Christmas! It’s almost fashionable. But that’s all it is. No wonder it feels difficult if you’re grieving, unwell, or going through a difficult life circumstance.  Christmas Day will arrive on 25 December, right on schedule. Plans for Christmas Eve and Boxing Day are on everyone’s lips. It’s unending!

    As I reflect on the challenges of home – I’m not enjoying this season of life after both my parents’ passing, and as I navigate this stressful patch with  Gamora’s condition, I am very far from enjoying the festivities. I am missing papa and mummy, and I’m very worried about what’s going to happen to Gamora. 

    Yet, I cannot say that I’m sad about Christmas. On the contrary, I’m so thankful for Christmas. I believe that Christmas time is when Jesus came into the world to save us from our sins. Even as I say that, I feel a sense of relief that He did.

    We sing about a Christmas babe. We play these carols as background music at parties and in malls alongside a nonexistent idea of a jolly, fat man riding a sleigh delivering gifts. We don’t talk about the actual gift of Jesus at a lot of our parties. 

    This is really why I miss my parents. After the last of our visitors, we’d sit down and inevitably get down to the business of recognising the birth of Jesus and what it means to us. These conversations never got old. For the years after my mum passed, my dad and I kept up this tradition. I miss it. 

    I am so thankful that we have a birth to celebrate- regardless of whatever’s going on in our lives and in the world. It is the birth of this Christ child that believers are thankful for. Not the Christmas trees, lights, and whatnots. Whilst we enjoy these things, most of us are only too familiar with challenges that are deeply personal or even on a broader level. 

    It would be too difficult if I didn’t have Jesus to be thankful for over this season. I’d have to celebrate something that is only pretend shiny. I’d know that there are troubles. I’m thankful that because of Jesus, I don’t have to sugarcoat my troubles. I also know there is a genuine endgame. For this, I am immensely grateful. 

    At Christmas, the hope of reconciliation between man and God entered into the world. It was the guarantee we were given that one day, all who call on His Name will rise in glory. It is a hope that the troubles of this world cannot dent. 

    How’s it going to be for me this Christmas? It is already different. I’m missing home as it used to be. I’m also extremely worried about little Gamora who is curled up by me as I write. But these things I am dealing with, alongside all the devastation that others may be enduring, don’t make the birth of Christ and its reason any different. Nothing changes the meaning of Christmas. There is hope for a future that God has organised for us. I am thankful. 

    The three of us – many moons ago…
    Gamora having a quiet moment today
    A nephew and niece with Gamora and me at Gamora’s Birthday and Santa Paws Pawty
    My last Christmas with papa – 2022

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    A Forward Momentum

    Psalm 27:13
    I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!

    I have had an incredibly busy year! It hasn’t been easy because I am nursing a broken heart, after losing my father. Apart from just missing him, there are many practical implications that have arisen. It’s not been easy.

    I started a coaching and training consultancy, called Progressive Pathways Consulting. Essentially, I run coaching and training work, as well as consult with organisations that are seeking to improve the workplace. I do this on the backing of about 18 years of experience in building capacity across different sectors of industry and for different levels of employee- from the C-suite levels to tea ladies, cleaners, and drivers. It’s interesting work.

    I’m in the middle of writing a book about kindness in the workplace under a publishing contract from Penguin Random House. This is both exciting and positive as events go!

    I have also launched my own podcast called Pathways to Thriving, which aims to listen to diverse voices from all over. I am hoping to grow my subscribers so that I can really get these voices heard.

    All these have been positive things and some of the other wonderful things this year have been a visit to Istanbul in January, which really made me fall in love with the city. Another brilliant event was the launch party for my consultancy. I chose to do it on 8 March- International Women’s Day. It was so precious having so many wonderful folk join me.

    In the middle of the year, I hosted a birthday drop in for myself. I was missing the two great loves in my life – my mum and dad. It felt hard to celebrate my birthday and when a friend told me that she hoped I would do something to honour their memory, I felt it was only right. It was a lovely day!

    In August, I had little celebrations too – for submitting the full book in by the end of July deadline. Three and a half months to write a book, without AI, but totally reliant on God’s grace, is something I absolutely had to give thanks for!

    There were some wobbles after August, in that I was very busy in September up to the first week of December. I learnt a lot about how I need to pace myself work wise, but the joy I had of being in such close proximity to the Kuala Lumpur Twin Towers is something else!

    I did get a wonderful opportunity to take a break in October, which worked as a wonderful reset button. The friend I travelled with, the weather – yes, even the rain, our gorgeous sea view room, plus reading a book I’d bought in Istanbul in January, all contributed to a real sense of rest. So beautiful!

    I find myself in December and to alleviate the stress of not doing a big Christmas, I hosted a little Santa Paws and Birthday Pawty to celebrate little Gamora’s birthday and kickstart Christmas cheer. Family came for lunch and we had a lovely time! My little nephew and niece, alongside Gamora, took noise levels to a new high. Brilliant! The two older nieces who are turning out to be fine young ladies, always warm my heart when the arrive. The family was beautiful!

    The evening saw friends arriving with new gusto. I think little Gamora was a bit tired by then, but it was lovely sitting around, chatting, eating, and playing games that my brilliant friend had put together! My heart is full.

    At the base of it all, my heart is still broken by the absence of my father and mother. God knows how much this hurts. But I thank Him for His goodness and mercies to me- for there have been so many wonderful blessings that have propelled me forward. I’m truly in awe of Him. Perhaps this is the most positive of all events – every time there is a movement in my heart that recognises grace, I am blessed beyond belief. Thank You, Lord Jesus, for the grace you have bestowed upon me!

    The Hagia Sofia
    Launch of Progressive Pathways Consulting 8.3.2025
    Progressive Pathways Consulting podcast
    The Kuala Lumpur Twin Towers at dawn
    A much needed break
    Family at the Santa Paws Birthday Pawty 6.12.2025
    My friends at the Santa Paws Birthday Pawty
    My little nephew and niece with Gamora & me
    My grown up nieces who are turning into fine women!

  • Welcome to my personal blog! Thank you for visiting.

    Faith or Fear – Which Are We Feeding?

    I just got off the phone with a dear friend. It’s funny how sometimes what is meant to be a five-minute conversation goes on for an hour or more. I love when this happens. It means that we’re spending time together. There are the friendships where this happens and the ones where we just stop communicating. There are a lot more friendships in the latter group, and we put it down to busyness, which makes me appreciate the times when I get to have these chats.

    In our phone conversation, we talked about how fear holds us back. Sometimes we even make blanket decisions. How often do we say things like ‘I’m never going to trust anyone again!’? There are so many such stands that we take. We decide we’ll never give something a chance again after we’ve been hurt or when we’ve lost. We make declarations of how we’ll face certain elements, while ‘bravely’ shutting the door on other options. When we strip it all down, it is clear to see that we are afraid.

    I don’t excuse myself from this. I had a great experience with a business partner. He was wonderful really, and he had amazing business sense. I felt very supported as a partner and even when our partnership ended, I never had any bad things to say about how it had all transpired. I was determined to find another such partner.

    What this meant was that I closed the door to stepping out on my own at different points. I felt the need to have this partnership and that if I didn’t have one, I couldn’t move forward. There were various discussions had with different people at different points. But no matter how good they were, partnering with them never felt right. As such, I never ventured out on my own. Until now, that is.

    I had to really think over a lot of things when I was made redundant. My redundancy came into effect in February 2025, but I knew from some time in September 2024 that things were in motion. Whilst negotiating severance terms, I frantically applied for jobs, attended interviews, and considered options that were put on the table before me.

    There was initially zero clarity because I kept thinking I needed that partner. It took a while for my faith to kick in and confront me on this idea. Finally, I did realize that I wanted to have my own gig, and that I had a partner in the God I trust. It was terrifying, which made me realize that as much as I speak about trusting God, I don’t trust Him enough.

    My business is slowly growing. It’s not always easy, but I can say that I love every minute of it. I am enjoying work again in a way that I hadn’t in a long time. Even that realization, of how I stayed in a job that I wasn’t fully enjoying out of fear that I wouldn’t be able to do better because of chronic illness. It annoys me now when I think that I boxed myself in. I didn’t think God could do His thing.

    Fear is a real thing. It makes us so very timid and we put ourself into tiny spaces, almost trying to minimize our existence. This feeling is not always obvious. We layer it up in what we call ‘rational thought’ or ‘justified reasoning.’ At its core, it really is fear.

    One of my favourite stories in the Bible is of the woman with blood issue who touches Jesus’ garment and is healed. The faith of that woman is truly beautiful. It is strong. In that time, she was considered unclean and shunned. For her to overcome that fear and seek her God, just moves me.

    In recent times, I am reminded too of how I have been given faith. Faith is a gift from God – not something I can whip up on my own accord (Ephesians 2:8). I am very aware of this. Yet, this is a gift that I have to do something with. I have to feed it. This happens as I consistently engage with scripture (Romans10:17). It is important I do this because it helps me mature and grow deeper in my love, knowledge, and understanding of Jesus (1 Peter 2:2).

    As I say this, I know immediately that the fault is my own. A lot of the time, I am truly guilty of feeding my fear instead of my faith. The foolishness I reveal in this is staggering. God is the same God yesterday, today, and forever. The God I believed in sent help to Hagar, who was pregnant and flees from Sarah’s harsh treatment. In the New Testament,  it is Sarah who represents the new covenant of grace by Jesus, not Hagar. And yet, God shows Hagar so much mercy and grace. I know this story. Why then do I feed my fear instead of my faith?

    I think at the heart of it is the illusion that I can control things. There is nothing I can control. Little Gamora reminds me of this every single day, when she has moments thinking of whether to obey or not. In the beginning, I used doggy treats to persuade her to obey, and she has built a certain muscle memory. She now obeys with the hope of getting a treat. I tell you what, it works! Most of the time, she gets a reward.

    Gamora demonstrates what I should be doing. I have God’s Word that shows me so many instances of His faithfulness to those before me. I have a lifetime of experience where I have indeed tasted God’s goodness. Yet, my muscle memory isn’t as good as Gamora’s. I forget. And I end up feeding my fears by dwelling on them instead of feeding my faith.

    I think there’s a change of diet on the cards! From experience, I know this isn’t the easiest thing to do, but it is wise that I start being more focused on feeding my faith. I serve the God that my parents taught me about. I serve the God who gave me my faith. It is right that I serve Him by feeding my faith whenever I am fearful for He did not give all of us who profess a faith in Him, a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and self-control.

    As we start the charge towards closing out 2025, I am thankful for these thoughts that have been put into my heart to ponder upon. It  will be my prayer that I continue facing my fears with courage, knowing that I have a God that I can fully trust with the final outcome. I wish so very much that my dad was around for this conversation – he tried to tell me about this many times whenever he tried to prepare me for his passing. Papa, the penny has finally dropped. You and mummy have given me so much by growing me in Christ. I am eternally grateful for you both.

  • Welcome to my personal blog! Thank you for visiting.

    Seaside Secrets

    Beach or mountains? Which do you prefer? Why?

    I love the beach. I love it far more than the mountains. Please don’t get me wrong- I think the mountains are beautiful. However, for me, a beach holiday trumps everything!

    I love the beach. There is something about being at the seaside that causes my body and mind to relax. I wonder if it is the air – the smell of the ocean, or the sight of it.

    When we were little, my cousins and I got taken to the seaside a lot. It was such a lot of fun. Our parents would have packed all sorts of food for a picnic, but all we could think about was playing on the beach or swimming in the sea.

    Till this day, when I go to the beach, I keep my eyes peeled for the first sight of the sea. That first glimpse of the turquoise, blueish-green shades of waves, never ceases to cause a sensory delight within me.

    When I lost my mum in 2006, I was so brokenhearted. Some friends and I went to the seaside – I wanted the time to rest. A friend suggested that we each take time to write about something out in nature.

    I remember composing a poem about the sea – about how its calm exterior didn’t always show the whirling undercurrents. It reflected how I felt when I lost my mum.

    In 2023, less than a week and a half before he died, my dad convinced me to book a beach holiday. I booked it without knowing that I would be travelling there two weeks after he had passed.

    Again, the silence of the beach broken by the occasional roar of the waves, voiced the sense of overwhelm that I was feeling inside. It felt to me like the sea was acting out the restless I felt.

    In October 2025, a friend and I went for a beach holiday. It rained almost the entire time we were there, but we had a sea view room. It was amazing to wake up to the glistening sea, and watch how choppy it got because of the wind and the rain.

    I was exhausted from a gruelling schedule, but just being by the beach, looking out at the sea, I felt a sense of calm and peace. It was like the tiredness was being washed away.

    Whilst I do admire mountains and nature apart from the seaside, there is nothing like a beach holiday! I am so thankful to God for the many beach holidays I’ve been able to enjoy. I pray for more!